Withstanding the Void

And finding what exists outside of success.

Lately my creative energy has been chaotic, expanding and collapsing at the same time. I’ve been creating new things while letting go of old methods and mindsets that used to sustain me.

One morning while on the verge of waking, I dreamed I was falling through the blackness of space.

I fell endlessly and wondered if it would ever stop. However, I realized that there was a strange kind of peace in falling forever through this void of absolute nothingness. Finally, I have enough quiet and paradoxically—stillness—to deeply think about things.

So I asked myself, “What is my role in life?”

Almost as soon as I asked, my inner knowing responded.

“I am a Keeper. I do the work of a witness and a sage. A poet, singer, and guardian. When I name what I witness with accuracy, there is a healing effect, especially during times of transition.”

Once I received the answer, the dream faded, and I began to fully wake up.

I’ve been exploring what my definition of success is for a while now. But this dream went one step deeper. It’s an exploration of who I am when the definition of success—and all external structures in general—fall away.

If I never experience “success” in this life, if no one ever notices another thing I do or remember who I am—even if I fail to earn a single dime, I would still function as a Keeper. External structures would make operating in this role easier, but they’re not necessary.

For me, this Keeper role is almost like the work of a traditional storyteller crossed with a librarian. I collect stories, store them, protect them, study them, search for the hidden wisdom and “sing” of them, regardless of if they are from real life or my subconscious. Sometimes, both collide into one thing.

When my dad was looking for information on the last time that he and all of his brothers were in one place together, he was able to find the date in one of my childhood journals. Some years ago when I was on a trip with friends, I was given the task to document it all.

If no one is there to listen to these stories, do they still exist? Looking at this dream, the answer is “yes” because I function as storage. I manage shelves of collective memories within myself. My ways of doing so aren’t perfect, but no one has to be there for them to exist. My creative work arrives from the void and is safely stored there.

But honestly, like I mentioned in my book I’m Not Lost, I’m an Explorer, I feel like everyone carries a library within that is just waiting to be shared.

With that said, here are a couple of new pieces from my inner library. They’re a bit more like dreamy notes-to-self this time around, but they exist:

Sitting in Right Relationship With Life And finding inner belonging

A Collection on Meeting and Understanding The Ego and The Self

I have also updated my Thoughts Page a lot lately, so that’s something else to check out.

Thank you so much for still being here. I’ll keep sharing what comes to me whenever it feels right. Wishing you success on discovering who you are when external expectations fall away. The void can be scary, but it’s not empty.

Take care,

Arcadia Page

Intuitive Writer/Artist/Creative Rebel⚡

P.S. You can dive deeper into my work by exploring and supporting my creations. I’m also quietly offering written feedback on essays or manuscripts. Details here.